Although the demographics of Hong Kong are officially about 52% women and 48% men, it feels as though there are a lot more women around. FDHs from the Philippines and Indonesia, many of them women, make up almost 3% of the total Hong Kong population. On Sunday, the streets of Central are literally paved with women.

Over the Chinese border in Shenzhen, it was common in the 1990s for Hong Kong men to install a Chinese mistress in her own apartment, purportedly at a cost of about $2,000 a month, for weekend visits. The collection of enclaves where these women lived was nicknamed ‘Er Nai Cun’, or ‘Second Breast Village’.

Unfortunately, like everything in Hong Kong, modern-day concubinage is subject to economic climates and the depression in 1997 saw many mistresses abandoned by their sugar daddies. As a consequence, sex is cheaper than ever. A recent report in a local newspaper quoted $70 as the going rate outside the cross-border railway station of Lowu.

Never one to be outdone, the sensationalist Apple Daily, a popular Chinese tabloid owned by media mogul Jimmy Lai, until recently, used to advertise the ‘best’ brothels in Hong Kong. Now it’s Macan that gets the listings. But go up to Ladies Street Market in Mongkok and you can see boards advertising hourly prices for girls from around the world. Those on a budget head to Sham Shui Po.

The Chinese women dressed in their house clothes lounging around on the street in the middle of the day are all busy plying their trade. One-woman brothels, where women who are typically in their 30s or older operate out of their own apartment, are fairly common.  Prostitution is not illegal in Hong Kong, but living off the income of a prostitute and soliciting, are.

Meanwhile, poll after poll finds married Hong Kongers dissatisfied with sex, blaming the living environment, work stress and financial pressure.The average age for marriage here is 28 for women and 31 for men. Increasingly, as elsewhere in the developed world, women are marrying later. Because Hong Kong women expect to marry above their education level and earning power, tying the knot is becoming increasingly difficult. Divorce is also common.

Hong Kong: Graveyard Of Expat Marriages?

Hong Kong’s tolerance means that mixed couples flourish here, particularly Western men with Asian partners. Unfortunately, not all expat marriages survive the strain of what one friend dubs ‘the rising executive in the oriental sweetie shop syndrome’, or what’s commonly referred to here as ‘yellow fever’.

The combination of long work hours (often involving business travel outside Hong Kong on a weekly or monthly basis), available and attractive young women, and the absence of a social index of criticism that could make a straying partner think twice back home, can play havoc with long-term domestic partnerships. One Australian boss I met over drinks explained how he flies back to see his wife and four sons in Perth every seven to ten days. They returned to Australia eight years ago while he stayed in Hong Kong. He does this to protect his relationship with his wife, as he’d heard that if you are away for more than 16 days, a wife develops her own life and the couple drift apart.

Hong Kongers insist that racism does not exist in Hong Kong, but Filipinas will be the first to take issue with that. Expats with Filipina or south-east Asian partners may encounter some level of ignorance or prejudice, although it is unlikely to manifest itself in the aggressive way found in Western societies. Laws aimed at curbing racial discrimination are currently in process; sex and disability discrimination acts were passed in the 1990s.

Dating Expats

Either I have very unfortunate girlfriends or they are representative. T speaks for many when she describes the expat dating scene as ‘in a word: difficult’. Like other women friends of mine, T was asked out by married expat men or men with no intention except having a good time. One-night stands are common and a casual relationship is virtually the norm.

Compared with Asian women, Western women have a reputation as being difficult to please and uninterested in home-making and child-rearing. Financially independent single women here are acutely aware of the fact that they are competing for partners with younger, attractive Asian women who, for many men who plan to stay in Asia, are the ideal route into the culture.

Comments from expat men published in the South China Morning Post reflect a stereotypical view of Asian women:

• ‘I just love their boutique size. My Chinese girlfriend makes me feel ten feet tall’;
• ‘They are skinny and cute’; and
• ‘They know the rules of love affairs – which is to follow wherever your man goes’.

Another said:

Many expat women are not interested in dating Chinese men, either because they don’t find them physically attractive or because of cultural differences.

Once you’ve cut out the local men, the gay men, the married men and the men only interested in Asian women, you’ve pared down the field quite a bit. M, 46, has been in Hong Kong for the past ten years. According to her, it’s a numbers game. She says:

In spite of the apparent difficulties, several good expat women friends of mine met and married expat men here.